All-Time Worst Films (Roll Call #7)

December 13, 2009…


Here are our choices for the worst movies of all time. We find these films to either be completely forced, overrated, badly acted and written or just your typical over-the-top, crass Hollywood garbage. We cannot fathom how any of these movies can be liked by anyone on the planet. Considering that most of them were extremely successful, it just goes to show you can never account for peoples’ taste, or lack thereof.

A few things we have learned in compiling this list: sequels are almost never a good idea; most big-budget, blockbuster action films and horror flicks completely blow; not all of these movies are necessarily terrible — some are just highly overrated, unnecessary or have terrible endings; and Nicholas Cage, Jim Carrey, Arnold Schwartenegger, Bruce Willis and John Travolta should probably never be allowed to make another movie.

In no particular order:

Con Air (1997) — Dumb and Dumber (1994) — Titanic (1997) — Glitter (2001) — The Terminator (1984) — Swept Away (2002) — Battlefield Earth (2000) — Independence Day (1996) — Die Hard (1988) — 2012 (2009) — Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) — Weekend at Bernie’s II (1989) — Little Nicky (2000) — Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) — Friday the 13th Part III (1982) — Grease (1978) — Home Alone (1990) — Problem Child (1990) — Beaches (1988) — Step Brothers (2008) — Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984) — Child’s Play (1988) — Problem Child 2 (1991) — Rocky IV (1985) — The Mask (1994) — Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) — Face/Off (1997) — Tropic Thunder (2008) — Commando (1985) — Singin’ in the Rain (1952) — Me, Myself & Irene (2000) — Rambo III (1988) — Blades of Glory (2007) — Dumb and Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd (2003) — Rambo (2008) — Die Hard 2 (1990) — Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985) — Caddyshack II (1988) — Stepmom (1998) — Raising Arizona (1987) — Hellraiser (1987) — Blade (1998) — Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) — Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973) — Wild at Heart (1990) — Anaconda (1997) — Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo (1999) — Twister (1996) — A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) — Jaws 3-D (1983) — Saw (2004) — Armageddon (1998) — The Exorcist II: The Heretic (1977) — Conan the Barbarian (1982) — Demolition Man (1993) — Meet Joe Black (1998) — A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985) — Young Einstein (1989) — The Sixth Sense (1999) — Saw II (2005) — A Night at the Roxbury (1998) — Brokeback Mountain (2005) — Conan the Destroyer (1984) — Child’s Play 2 (1990) — I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (2007) — Ishtar (1987) — Predator (1987) — Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) — Joe Dirt (2001) — Saturday Night Fever (1977) — Spice World (1998) — Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) — Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995) — North (1994) — Total Recall (1990) — Zoolander (2001) — The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) — Saw III (2006) — Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986) — Live Free or Die Hard (2007) — Passenger 57 (1992) — U.S. Marshals (1998) — Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) — You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008) — Howard the Duck (1986) — Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) — Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005) — Look Who’s Talking (1989) — Predator 2 (1990) — Saw IV (2007) — No Country for Old Men (2007) — Men in Black (1997) — Clambake (1967) — Minority Report (2002) — Staying Alive (1983) — Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988) — Alien (1979) — The Matrix (1999) — Joe Versus the Volcano (1990) — Look Who’s Talking Too (1990) — Jurassic Park III (2001) — Jaws: The Revenge (1987) — Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942) — Paul Blart: Mall Cop (2009) — Cape Fear (1991) — Alien vs. Predator (2004) — Rocky V (1990) — Dirty Dancing (1987) — Double Trouble (1967) — Kindergarten Cop (1990) — Saw V (2008) — Hairspray (2007) — Grease 2 (1982) — Speed (1994) — Porky’s Revenge (1985) — Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) — Braveheart (1995) — Son of the Mask (2005) — Rent-a-Cop (1987) — Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) — Aliens (1986).

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3 Comments

  1. Posh Spice said,

    December 13, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    How dare the Federation impugn my star vehicle “Spice World”?! Clearly the Federation did not grasp the subtle yet stellar acting chops that Sporty, Ginger, Scary, Baby, and I displayed. I’ll have the Federation know that we spent at least, collectively, forty-five minutes rehearsing our lines and choreography for this cinematic treasure! Our commitment to this film was beyond reproach! I’m also offended that the Federation did not include me in their list of the hottest women of all time. Grace Slick? Teri Garr? Madonna? None of these chicks can hold a candle to the emaciated pasty loveliness that is ME!! I have three very important words for the Federation…GIRL POWER FOREVER!!!!!!

  2. jen said,

    December 13, 2009 at 6:24 pm

    Bruce Willis just needs to stay away from any action movies.

    Pretty much any movie made by Ashton Kutcher is dumb.

    Maybe if he’s naked I’d watch that part of the movie, but otherwise I wish he would stay in Vegas.

  3. Onlyme said,

    December 26, 2009 at 2:04 pm

    I personsally would drop my pants for Bruce Willis, but when it comes to acting; my 8 year old does a better job at it when he wants to stay home from school!


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